Diarrhoea Jutsu
by JJ of the pi
Summary: Naruto drinks 3 weeks out of date milk and Kakashi is 2 hours late.
1. Chapter 1

Hi, this is my first story; English is my fif language so if stuff is wong don't blame me. These characters don't belong to me. But I do own the disclaimer I am writing.

Diarrhoea Jutsu - Chapter 1

Naruto woke up. As usual he put his instant ramen in the microwave and fell back to sleep for two more hours. After re-microwaving his ramen twice, he started eating. 0.0000000001 milliseconds later he finished and decided he needed to wash it down with milk. He poured the milk into his cup and started drinking. Of course Naruto didn't realise that milk was 3 weeks old, a day of diarrhoea was ahead of him. He saw Sakura in the street and decided he would walk with her to cell 7's mission. "Sakura I'm over here, do you want to practice kissi… I mean jutsu later." Naruto shouted. Poof! A cloud formed around her, after it dissipated Sasuke was standing there and Naruto realised he had been pranked. "I would love to practice kissing later" Sasuke exclaimed, "but not with you, I'd prefer kiss Itachi." After head-butting the wall 100 times Naruto went to the Hokage's palace to receive his mission. 2 Hours later, Kakashi arrived so Naruto, Sakura, Sasuke and Kakashi entered the Hokage's office. "Let's see, squad 7, you can have a better mission today erm… how about assassinating the Kazeka-"The Hokage trailed off. "Today I'm gonna mix miso and pork ramen to make piso ram-" Naruto said ignoring everyone. "Shut up Naruto!" The hokage shouted, "Because of your insolence I'm going to give you an e rank mission, (Dun Dun Duuuuuuuuuuuun!) You are going to fertilise the villages onions with cow dung! Mwu ha ha."

They started their mission. 1 minute later they smelt. 2 minutes later they cried. 3 minutes later Kakashi realised he was the boss and didn't need to help. 4 minutes later they ran out of dung. "Oh no where are we going to get the spare dung we need" Sakura said almost fainting. "Good riddance our job is done because we don't have the resources anymore!" Inner Sakura menacingly said. Naruto had the runs. He thought he might of accidently eaten 1,000,000,000 bottles of laxative. Then he let rip, everyone ran, the gas was so dense you could see it seeping out of Naruto. But there was a whole lot more where that came from and it wasn't staying in for long "Pppppppppp squelch pppppppppp squelch pppppppppp squelch" the diarrhoea had taken effect. "Hooray, where saved!" cried Sasuke. A look of puzzle came on Naruto's face, then he realised, everyone needed dung and he had given them enough to last 10 years. He was a saviour. Kakashi raised Naruto in the air and shouted "Hooray for Naruto the saviour!" Everyone stood around Naruto still hoisted in the air. "Pppppppppp" Everyone ran yet again and Naruto fell. He had new powers and he would seize them and become Hokage!

Please don't be rude in the comments if you don't like this don't read it. Please say what you want to happen next.


	2. Diarrhoea Jutsu-chapter 2

It's JJ of the pi with part 2 of my story! I don't own the characters but I do own Chafozo and diarrhoea.

Diarrhoea Jutsu- Chapter 2

Chafozo stood over his cauldron; the green liquid bubbled viciously and splashed against the sides. An overview of Konohoa was the reflection in the liquid.

"Ha ha ha" Chafozo chuckled evily. "My unsuspecting target".

Chafozo enchanted and made signs with his hand. He had cast a jutsu over Konohoa, this jutsu was deadly. The dreaded constipation jutsu! (Dun Dun Duuuuuuuun!)

Naruto just woke up. He had eaten his ramen, drunk his gone off milk and gone to sleep again. Naruto jumped with a start. "Naruto help I need to use your toilet!" Sakura screamed. Naruto was too confused to answer but Sakura still ran past to the toilet. "Uuuuuuurrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhh!" Naruto heard from the room Sakura was in. Then he heard a chorus of "Uuuuuuuurrrrggghhh! From all the surrounding houses.

Naruto could think of only 1 explanation, he was dead and was sent to hell these sounds meant he could never fall asleep. It was torture.

Naruto felt like he needed to take a dump. His toilet was being used he ran out of the house to find a spare toilet. He knocked on every door in Konohoa only to find everyone on the toilet for hours because they were constipated. A light appeared over the Hokage's palace, it was a hologram an evil looking man with a dark cloak looming over a cauldron with green bubbling liquid in. "I have cast a jutsu over your weak nation" the man said, Naruto filling with more rage every word he said. "All of you shall be constipated for as long as you live!" Naruto leaped on the palace and threw an array of kunai knives and shuriken towards the mystery man's face. They all went through the light aimlessly. Naruto landed through a window of the Hokage's palace he landed in a room with a sink marble floor and shower that had emeralds embedded within it. Naruto turned around only to see the Hokage on the toilet. "Naruto! Why hasn't the jutsu affected you" the Hokage said quickly. "Don't know, don't care" Naruto replied. The Hokage exclaimed dramatically "Your mission is to hunt down the man who did this to us and stop the jutsu he cast, and quickly my pancreas is going to explode!" (Pancreas is the organ that stores your dung).

"If it's the last thing I'll do I'll kill that random person who I hardly know and only have 1 good reason to kill him" Naruto boldly announced.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer – I don't own the stuff I didn't create (duh)

Diarrhoea Jutsu - Chapter 3

Naruto ran through the trees, jumping off branches and destroying wildlife. He stopped. He only just noticed that he had absolutely no idea where he was going or what to do. There was the hologram in the sky so it was high up and near the village. Naruto thought where to go for hours. The next day Naruto realised that there was a massive mountain right next to the village with blindingly obvious huge, chiselled faces on it. Only 1 problem remained, how was he going to get up there? Naruto decided he would hike up the mountain, slowly but surely he would reach the top.

Days past slowly Naruto scrambled across ledges inside crevasses and over rocks. Finally, after 4 days he made it . "What an achievement" Naruto thought to himself, "and I didn't even use the escalator." Naruto eyes popped out of his head, he had wasted 4 days when there was an escalator all along, his eyes swelled with tears, his head doubled in size and went as red as a ummmmm… red thing. Bang! Naruto's head didn't explode but a kunai with an explosive tag landed next to him. He decided to use his new powers "uuuurgh" Naruto screamed trying to activate his diarrhoea but Chafozo kept throwing kunai knives at him. Naruto's insides bubbled and churned. He was still being attacked, cut and bruised. Naruto focused all his power in one place, his buttocks. "Ppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppppp" Everything brown inside Naruto came out at once, it all pummelled Chafozo against a wall. Konohoa Was free from his reign of constipation (torture)


End file.
